I arrived here, kicking and screaming.
I had no plans to become an advocate,
if I'm being honest. After escaping life on the streets, all I wanted was to put as much space as possible between who I had been and who I wanted to be.
Then the Universe stripped me of all my armour...
Born into this world hardwired for chaos, my way of coping was to suppress my emotions and keep moving forward at all costs— a learned behaviour. I was terrified of becoming a stereotype and took pride in being a force of nature. The drive in me was relentless. Spurred on by C-PTSD and the fear of discovery, I unwittingly created a persona for myself, a character I attached all my self-worth to. The type of woman no one would ever connect to having been abused or exploited. A woman no one could tame or own. An enigma. A cowgirl.
My Superpower is my ability to honour the polarity within myself
Then, my love died by suicide, and my safe place, my hiding spot, became the most painful place of all to be. I lost [ read: ran away from, burnt to the ground ] everything I had spent my life building—reputation, career, identity, friends, family, material possessions, even my credit score. I didn't just fall down. I stayed down. None of my old coping strategies would work anymore. Every avenue of escape I had previously used [ athleticism, travel and denial ] was cut off from me, and I was forced to come to the conclusion that I needed new solutions, actionable steps, and concrete answers.
malicious Intent. willful ignorance. quitting. Matching Socks. Small Talk. Flat Sheets. Carpets. Boozy Benders. Video Games.
Walking A Fine Line Between Grace And Hot Mess. Avoiding Deadlines. Hiding In Book Stacks. Riding My Horses. Hiking With my dog, Thyme. Topic jumping aka conversational side questing. Being awkward in social situations. getting hyperactive at midnight. Staring up at the trees, the moon, the stars. enjoying the music of nature.
Myself. The Magic Of Everyday Kindness,
the old gods. nature. Laughing Until My
Stomach Hurts. Late Night Talks. early
morning coffee & putting the needle on the vinyl. making time for people. dichotomy & alchemy .
I was going to have to come clean about my past. But even after I found the courage to speak my truth, no one had answers. Organizations called me a victim. Doctors offered drugs. My family continued to live in denial. No one I came across was able to provide tangible, actionable steps to help me become sovereign. So I got desperate, then curious (out of necessity). I read books, listened to podcasts, searched the internet, asked questions, took courses, and learned how to work with my brain, body, and familial history.
My most used word?
I used every resource I could get my hands on to transform ME. By creating space within my body and altering my environment ( inside and out ) I was able to rewire my central nervous system and my brain, which allowed me to make different choices. Choices rooted in the reality I wanted for myself.
Taking ownership of the attitudes and beliefs I carried within me as armour was the most challenging, uncomfortable and terrifying thing I've ever done. Today, I feel safe in my own body and am most proud of my inner peace. This is why I want to share everything I have ever learned with you. So we can stop the cycle of trauma and abuse together. So we can change the narrative of your story and in effect, affect world we live in.
How we speak to ourselves matters
the chalice & the blade
By rlane eisler
The girls who went away
By Ann Fessier
Mayor of kingstown.
kicking horse organic Coffee (grizzly).
Earl grey loose leaf tea. water.
the actualization of Partnership System and a healthy Ocean
Sorrow and Starlight by Caroline Peckham and Susan Valenti
Nancy Caroline's Emergency Care in the Streets, 7th Cdn. Ed.,
Brain Rescue 3
Muay Thai Kickboxing
gym ( lifting weights)
The Model Health Show
Honouring Boundaries with Self
Setting Boundaries with Others
Higher Practice Podcast
Singing & Dancing
Electrolytes & Magnesium
authors (some not all)
Sarah J Maas
Caroline Peckham & Susanne Valenti
Jennifer l Armentrout
Jean M Auel
My Favorite Things
Sunshine. Wayfarers kickstarter semiotics, quinoa godard dreamcatcher hexagon pop-up hoodie.
my guilty pleasure
Ice cream. Microdosing gochujang keffiyeh salvia. Hoodie knausgaard art party.
Photos! Hashtag fashion axe palo santo fanny pack, ramps cornhole messenger bag asymmetrical direct trade slow-carb everyday carry chartreuse tofu godard.
"There's resilience, there's strength, and there's an undeniable connection to empathy that lies in Rayanne's voice. Love, LOVE hearing your experience through the eyes of healing."
"This podcast saved my business. For real. I don't know where I would be without it. I'm seriously living my dreams rn!"
CURIOUS? LET'S GET STARTED
Sponsor a Child OR Volunteer at Camino Ranch: an equine-assisted life skills learning centre for vulnerable youth HERE
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Subscribe to Focus Forward the Rayanne K. Irving podcast and share with friends
Purchase MEDICAL-GRADE Skin Care for yourself OR donate @ to Free to Fly HERE
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How can we support
one another ?