Born into this world hardwired for chaos, my way of coping with reality was to suppress my emotions and keep moving forward at all costs— a learned behaviour. I was terrified of becoming a stereotype and took pride in being a force of nature. The drive in me was relentless. Spurred on by C-PTSD and the fear of discovery, I unwittingly created a persona for myself, a character I attached all my self-worth to. The type of woman no one would ever connect to having been abused or exploited. A woman no one could tame or own. An enigma. A cowgirl.  

My Superpower is my ability to honour the polarity within myself

Then, my love died by suicide, and my safe place, my hiding spot, became the most painful place of all to be. I lost [ read: ran away from, burnt to the ground ] everything I had spent my life building—reputation, career, identity, friends, family, material possessions, even my credit score. I didn't just fall down. I stayed down. None of my old coping strategies would work anymore. Every avenue of escape I had previously used [ athleticism, travel and denial ] was cut off from me, and I was forced to come to the conclusion that I needed new solutions, actionable steps, and concrete answers.